Biking with Jackson

Life in Hayward is good. Today Jackson and I pumped up our tires and hit the bike path that begins close to our home. We soaked in some rays, waved to some friends along our trek and two miles later arrived safely at Hayward Primary School. Some of my fondest childhood memories were riding my bike to school with my friend Donnie. I hope that these rides become moments that Jackson and I can both tuck away in our minds and reminisce over together some day. I've never made a memory with my child behind the wheel of my car. All I ever made in a car was good time. Today I didn't make good time (we were 10 minutes late for school...oops!), but we had a good time.

The Paradox of Life

"Life is the destiny you are bound to refuse until you have consented to die."

-W.H. Auden, "For the Time Being"


This is a quote I found in one of Richard Rohr's great books entitled "Adam's Return: Five promises of Male Initiation. What really hit me in this quote is how much it echoes Jesus' paradoxical call. Jesus taught us that if we really want to embrace life, we must lose our life. Life is the destiny that we so often refuse. . .Do we truly recognize that we refuse to embrace our God given destiny when we hold dearly to our life as we know it? Are we willing to believe that letting go, releasing, surrendering, offering up our life is the pathway to life?

I'm not sure that 21st Century American Christianity has embraced the paradox that Jesus and Auden teach us. We stake claims in Jesus, but refuse to carry the load of the cross. We convince ourselves that we live the "good life", yet refuse to undergo death.

The difficulty with paradox is not that they are confusing. They are more than that. They are contradictory, counter-intuitive and even absurd. So, our God calls us to follow the absurd? Absolutely. Jesus followers embrace paradox because it was what He embraced.

Family Roots

Dallas Willard states that we each have a "reciprocal rootedness" in one another. That is to say, that each of our identities, personalities and character are integrally connected to and shaped by one another. Within families, both nature and nurture reflect this fact. These days it seems that to some degree my character is best assessed by what I see in the eyes of my boys. My two boys copy my every move! And honestly, that's a little scary!
Shortly after losing Ann's mom to cancer I was having one of those off handed moments where I temporarily "lost it". As tears filled my eyes I casually headed into the bed room to shed a tear or two hoping my two boys didn't notice my crying. As I regained my composure by wiping my bloodshot eyes on my sleeve, I looked up to see my oldest son Jackson standing in the room with tears in his eyes. I took one gaze at his waterlogged eyes and asked, "what's up bud?" (I incorrectly assumed that he simply had been assaulted by his brother with a Tonka toy :)). "Why are you crying?" His response floored me. "Because you are" he said with a sniffle or two. Wow! Our rootedness to our children is so powerful that even the sight of my tears, broke his heart. There was no rhyme or reason for his tears, except that he seeks to model his dad!
I'm careful not to take this next statement too far. How I'm doing in my life. . .my attitude, the condition of my heart, my pace of life is often best measured by taking a close look at my kids. God is constantly using my children to teach me more about myself.
As we pay attention to our children and listen to their lives, we will learn about much more than just them. We'll learn that the eyes of our children are a window into our own soul. As we gaze into their impressionable lives, we'll undoubtedly learn more about our own virtues and vices, victories and defeat, freedoms and fears.

Common Ground

When we share common ground we allow ourselves to become fused with others in a life giving way. Failure to share this ground results in the landscape eroding before us. We may grapple and grasp for solid footing. But we fail, simply because we cannot go it alone. God will not have it this way. We can choose commong ground opening up our hearts and hands for it's company. Or we can waste away alone and helpless, in fear and in want. The choice is ours.