Small Group Leadership-Jesus style

Jesus started a small group. For three years his group rode the tumultuous ride of life together. The twelve he chose were marked often by confusion and failure. There is this scene in Mark where Jesus shakes his head and asks, “Do you still not understand? Do you have eyes but not see? Do you have ears, but do not hear?” Sound familiar? Of course, any of us who have sought whole-heartedly to see others grow in discipleship share the same frustration. People commit, yet do not follow through. They put on the yoke of discipleship and instead of finding it easy and light, believe that they have been shackled with a load too difficult to carry. People are given to failure. How many times have we muttered under our breath, “think I’m just wasting my time with _________” (you fill in the blank).

We discover as we look into the eyes of our Master that his way with others is unusually patient. His discipleship of the 12 is marked with more failure than success, yet he never gives up on them. At times they are indifferent, confused, terrified, slow to see, and show little faith. But, perhaps the greatest failure of all was that when it was all on the line “they all forsook him and fled.” Not long after this scene, Christ’s own body would collapse on the Dia Valorosa taking up the cross that he bid his disciples to carry. They refused; so the incarnate Son of God took hold of the beam and forged the way.

Perhaps that’s the role of a mentor, a discipler. To model with our own life, at our own expense, in both times of success and times of failure, the way to God. It seems that Jesus’ example is more transformative than his words. "I am with you as one who sacrifices on your behalf. So, love one another". "I am one among you who washes your feet like a slave. Go, serve one another". Jesus asked His disciples to follow nothing but His own example.

So often I want my leadership of others to be based on my keen insight, unique giftings, and personal potency. However, Jesus’ leadership of the 12 is framed through the lens of follower-ship. The secret to Jesus’ leadership is his unswerving desire to follow. His followership, not his leadership, transformed his small community. This too will transform our communities.

Your investment in lives of people might seem like its yielding little to no results. Perhaps the people God has placed in your life are slow to see and they just can’t get on board with you. If so, take heart. Remember your Master. He drove his way into your life by means of the nails that pierced his own.

Successful discipleship for Jesus didn’t come fast or easy. It was slow and agonizing for him. Why should it be any different for you? Bear patiently the cross you have been called to bear, praising God all the while. "Do not grow weary in well doing, but remember you will reap much if you do not give up". Do not be consumed with the mantra “lead them”. Rather, listen to what the Master commands. “Follow Me.” Follow Him and you will lead others to Him in the process.

Family Roots

Dallas Willard states that we each have a "reciprocal rootedness" in one another. That is to say, that each of our identities, personalities and character are integrally connected to and shaped by one another. Within families, both nature and nurture reflect this fact. These days it seems that to some degree my character is best assessed by what I see in the eyes of my boys. My two boys copy my every move! And honestly, that's a little scary!
Shortly after losing Ann's mom to cancer I was having one of those off handed moments where I temporarily "lost it". As tears filled my eyes I casually headed into the bed room to shed a tear or two hoping my two boys didn't notice my crying. As I regained my composure by wiping my bloodshot eyes on my sleeve, I looked up to see my oldest son Jackson standing in the room with tears in his eyes. I took one gaze at his waterlogged eyes and asked, "what's up bud?" (I incorrectly assumed that he simply had been assaulted by his brother with a Tonka toy :)). "Why are you crying?" His response floored me. "Because you are" he said with a sniffle or two. Wow! Our rootedness to our children is so powerful that even the sight of my tears, broke his heart. There was no rhyme or reason for his tears, except that he seeks to model his dad!
I'm careful not to take this next statement too far. How I'm doing in my life. . .my attitude, the condition of my heart, my pace of life is often best measured by taking a close look at my kids. God is constantly using my children to teach me more about myself.
As we pay attention to our children and listen to their lives, we will learn about much more than just them. We'll learn that the eyes of our children are a window into our own soul. As we gaze into their impressionable lives, we'll undoubtedly learn more about our own virtues and vices, victories and defeat, freedoms and fears.