Dallas Willard states that we each have a "reciprocal rootedness" in one another. That is to say, that each of our identities, personalities and character are integrally connected to and shaped by one another. Within families, both nature and nurture reflect this fact. These days it seems that to some degree my character is best assessed by what I see in the eyes of my boys. My two boys copy my every move! And honestly, that's a little scary!
Shortly after losing Ann's mom to cancer I was having one of those off handed moments where I temporarily "lost it". As tears filled my eyes I casually headed into the bed room to shed a tear or two hoping my two boys didn't notice my crying. As I regained my composure by wiping my bloodshot eyes on my sleeve, I looked up to see my oldest son Jackson standing in the room with tears in his eyes. I took one gaze at his waterlogged eyes and asked, "what's up bud?" (I incorrectly assumed that he simply had been assaulted by his brother with a Tonka toy :)). "Why are you crying?" His response floored me. "Because you are" he said with a sniffle or two. Wow! Our rootedness to our children is so powerful that even the sight of my tears, broke his heart. There was no rhyme or reason for his tears, except that he seeks to model his dad!
I'm careful not to take this next statement too far. How I'm doing in my life. . .my attitude, the condition of my heart, my pace of life is often best measured by taking a close look at my kids. God is constantly using my children to teach me more about myself.
As we pay attention to our children and listen to their lives, we will learn about much more than just them. We'll learn that the eyes of our children are a window into our own soul. As we gaze into their impressionable lives, we'll undoubtedly learn more about our own virtues and vices, victories and defeat, freedoms and fears.
